Hollywood movies warned me this was the way it was meant to play out, but that did not prepare me for how I was feeling at that moment.
Two o’ clock, at a snails pace, turned to two fifteen. I could sense from guests a small amount of pleasure at watching me squirm. To be honest I would’ve enjoyed the squirm as well from the pew seats.
Surely she’s not too far away.
And then like the Hollywood movies – our wedding story began to unfold.
A light murmur spread through the church as my future wife arrived outside. Once the murmurs settled, our wedding song began to play, and one-by-one the bridesmaids elegantly made there way down the aisle. My wife then joined the party by entering at the rear of the church.
And then it happened.
As soon as she came into my vision…
I paused time.
I paused it. There’s no other way to explain it.
And for that paused moment, which may have been brief, I was not bound by that hour – or that minute – or that second. I was freed to live that moment out with the intensity and fervor that it deserved.
Her elegance, those eyes, the breathtaking beauty, the nervous excitement, that dress – the moment became bigger than the timeframe it was lived within – removed from the confines of time and space.
When I close my eyes I can still relive the whole moment in its intensity and entirety.
It’s this practise of pausing time that I think is a great lesson for all of us.
For a lot of us, with time – it always seems like we’re running out of it or we don’t have enough of it. I’ve been a victim to its pressure, encouraged to save it and told not to waste it away.
My past has conditioned me to pursue being on it – to set plans to it that are bound by it. And I’m told if I’m wise I should manage it well, set it aside and watch it carefully.
But these are not the concepts that grind me the most about time. It is my feeling that I am subject to it. Like time is my Master.
Well today is a new day. I’ve been looking at it wrong.
Time is a means – it is not an end. It exists for us, we don’t exist for it (let that breathe for a while).
Time is a tool with which we live within not a master that we serve under. We need to master it, not the other way around.
We must engage more in the practise of pausing time.
And I’m not talking about planning our time better – that’s too mundane. I mean we must learn to pause time – more.
In moments like walking down the aisle toward your future husband, holding your baby in your arms for the first time, standing atop gorgeous mountains or walking alongside flawless lakes – in these moments when time stands still – we need to stand with it. Be attentive, be immersed, be still.
Mastering this practise opens up a whole new world of heightened awareness and sensitivity in the moments that matter.
You are not subject to time – time is subject to you.
So this is my challenge – in the moments that transcend time – I dare you to transcend with them.
I dare you to more often engage in the practise of pausing time.
Photo: That’s me waiting at the altar – she did eventually join me there:)