I was having a laugh with my wife and our good female friend the other day about writing a blogpost on ‘How to get and keep a man… from a man’s perspective’.
Surprisingly the idea wasn’t just met with initial laughter.
They told me I could definitely offer something valueable on the subject – especially from a guys point of view.
So I pondered it – thought about all the single female friends in my life, past and present, who have struggled to find the life companion that most females long for. I had to ask myself if there really was any insight I could add in their situation, especially being a guy.
And that’s when it dawned on me. that’s exactly what validates my advice – it’s the fact that I am a dude! I am more than qualified to give single woman a fresh perspective on what good men are looking for in a good woman.
So based on that logic, I penned this post. Please remember, I am NOT a relationship expert – my opinions below are my own and based on years of personal observations.
And note this is light-hearted. Its aim is to provide food for thought for those still on the lookout for Mr. Right.
So here goes.
9 Points on How to Get and Keep a Man… from a mans perspective.
1. Be prepared – remember that song Scar sung in the Lion King?
The search for a good man actually begins with you. It’s important that to prepare for a good man you commit yourself to continually becoming a good woman. I’m not talking about your outward appearance, I’m talking about you as a person. You have to pursue being of the quality you are seeking.
2. Recognise who you are and what you hold / Love yourself
Good men are attracted to woman who recognise their value and understand who they are – so always pursue and love your identity. Love yourself fully. Men don’t define who you are so don’t let them. A woman secure in her identity knows she has been made with perfection in mind – so make sure that realisation is deeply embedded in you.
3. Guard your heart
Can you see how these points fit in order? If you are continually committing yourself to improving as a person and moving into a greater understanding of who you are and loving what you see, then guarding your heart is the obvious next step. Ensure your identity includes being someone who protects her heart. This doesn’t mean locking it up in a jail cell and being the angry jail warden that hits people that come near it, but more be thoughtful and aware of men who want to add something to your life, and those that want to take something from it. You know what I’m talking about. Be mindful.
4. Embrace your singleness
It’s important to truly recognise the phase of life you’re in and embrace it fully. I think so many people (including men) lose the awesomeness of the ‘single’ stage in their life. Singleness is a gift – so live it out fully. Embrace it.
5. Look for the best in men
Here’s a great stat – 100% OF MEN AREN’T PERFECT. It doesn’t matter how far and wide you look – you are not going to find one. That’s not to say that there aren’t great men though. It’s important to get in the habit of looking for the best in the men you meet. If you do this, you’ll find that there’s probably more great men out there than you think.
6. Be you
Good men are looking for what makes a woman different, not what makes them the same as everyone else. Work that. Be you. If you’ve prepared yourself well – to be a good woman – and come across as a woman sure of herself and her identity, then you’re in a great space to attract the right man and lose none of who you are. Ideal.
7. Enjoy yourself, have fun
In line with all the points above, it’s important to enjoy yourself. Good men are looking for woman to have fun with – so be fun. Be light. Be present. Listen. Take interest in his interests. you’ll find the right men will also take authentic interest in yours. You may even share interests. Even better.
8. Show ‘a little’ vulnerability
This tip only works if you fully understand and practice point 3 (see point 3). With the right man, share something about yourself that is beyond what you would normally just share with a group of friends at the pub. This is not to say you should open up about your life like the Hoover Dam (See point 3) but small signs of vulnerability can indicate to a good man the right interest.
9. Don’t be too full on
Post-date or hangout – if you haven’t heard from him within the time you were hoping – don’t fret. Give him space. The right guys will pursue you not the other way around. Don’t forget that when you hung out with him you were fun, you were open, you listened, you were present. If a man doesn’t respond to that? I promise you, you are not the problem.
And that’s my lot. Hopefully this is of some help to single women looking for the ‘one’.
And this is my parting thought:
Despite what the movies and magazines feed you, and with high frequency, good single men worth your time ARE looking for a good woman like you.
So be encouraged that the right man is still out there waiting to meet you. Make sure you’re ready.
Photo credit: http://www.simplyblueweddings.com